Bastards on the street

Really cool little event: Heartless Bastards played a free concert tonight during Final Friday. Apparently it was to celebrate their music video. Weird part was, they never showed the video, at least not on the street. Lightborne - who I guess sponsored the event because they did the video - was having a party, but you had to have a pass to get in. So they might have shown the video inside, but I wouldn't know because I was not one of the ordained hipsters allowed inside. I'm fine with that, as I wanted to spend more time hitting the Pendleton and the other galleries, and I would have been completely sucked in by the free food and beer.
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Lily Pad: Thumbs Down. Ouch!

So I'm down near Fountain Square right now killing some time before I head up to Final Friday. Thought I'd use Lily Pad to blurg a bit and surf, and of course I can't reliably connect. I've tried several different locations around here, but, as usual, it just doesn't work well.

I love the idea of Lily Pad (or any free wifi for that matter), and some of the locations they've enabled are perfect spots for wifi, but I've never had a good experience - in terms of connection and signal consistency - at any of them. Doesn't matter what laptop I use, Lily Pad just sucks.

Lily Pad, PLEASE fix your sh*t. NOTE: this was finally sent via email from my cellphone. My thumb hurts - THANKS Lily Pad!
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Contrary to Popular Belief...

Forbes reported that Cincinnati is above the norm for young professionals in comparisons to other cities. We beat Cleveland, Pittsburgh and Columbus! Anyone who's tried to get back to Cincinnati from Cleveland or northern Ohio after a holiday weekend (especially Thanksgiving) knows that everyone from up north moves down here eventually (or at least to Columbus). It's the place to be if you're too chicken sh*t to leave the state.
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BSM: Fountain Square

Where the hell is the beautiful park-like city square they promised us from all those lovely conceptual drawings? Where is all the green they used so much to sell us on the changes to the Square? The square isn't that much different than it was before: lots of concrete and stone and very little shade. I call bullsh*t.

I started to rant about how they duped us and how the square hasn't changed much at all. But I decided to take a step back and look at the situation very closely.

After further review, the final layout of the square is pretty close to the drawings. Granted the trees haven't filled out yet and the construction on the north end of the square isn't done, however, the drawings are on target with what the square is shaping up to be. But let's take a close look at those original drawings.

Notice that in every drawing there's a lot of greenery, particularly trees. It gives the impression that the square will be more park-like. Every angle drawn is chosen to convey a idyllic setting, not an urban landscape.

Now I'm not saying this was a great conspiracy. But, there was definitely a sales pitch going on here. That's what designers (architects, landscapers, etc.) do with conceptual drawings: sell you on their design concept. Well, they certainly sold the square as a park. Just look at each drawing - green, green, green.

The drawings also show lots of shade. Now that doesn't mean they're incorrect. When I first saw the newly-opened square, I thought, where's all the green? The shade? Well, that was winter, and now it's summer and I'm still saying, where the hell is the green? One could argue that the trees haven't filled out yet, and that all the flower boxes aren't in - but look at all the concept pictures: way more shade than those trees will ever create - and I believe more trees than were planted.

Also take note of the fact that in every drawing greenery is used to cover up a stark urban streetscape, even in the periphery. Look at the drawing of the new facade on the 5/3 garage. This is the most urban of all the illustrations, and even this has the edges softened with trees.

So I come to the end of this rant with a mixed reading on the meter. On one hand, it's apparent that their drawings were designed to conjure a certain feeling. On the other hand, they're not entirely inaccurate. But I - and everyone else I've talked to - feel that we've had yet another architectural bait and switch pulled on us. They do it all the time in Cincy: the Accent, the CAC, Great American Ballpark, just to name a few.

But in this case, I have to say that their bullsh*t was spread on our crackers with such delicate precision that we gobbled it up without closer inspection. And for that, we, the enthusiastic supporters of the new square concept, are to blame as well. However this bullsh*t was of such fine caliber that they definitely had a solid reading on the meter, and thus this week's award.
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Building Cincinnati

I'll let you in on my new web obsession: Building Cincinnati. I have such a blog crush on this guy - stop it, I'm talking about his blog. His stuff is informative and detailed, and although the material is pretty dry, I have some amazing need to check it every day now (which I rarely check any one blog EVERY day), and have been spending free time combing through his archives (does that sound too much like innuendo?)

Because I'm very interested in the city's development (as in moving forward), after reading his site for a while I realized how much I'm interested in development in the city (as in building sh*t). Didn't know that about myself. Usually it's, "Oh, great, another Walgreens." But now I'm like, "Hmm, I know it's essentially a strip mall, but that 'life style center' will look a lot better in that area than the crap that was there before."
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Frequently Axed Questions

Who the hell do you think you are anyway?

Just someone who took the time to put their thoughts on the InterWeb. Don't like 'em? Don't read 'em. You got something to say, then comment. Or create your own blurg. Or shut up and do nothing like the good little sheep you probably are anyway.

Why is this blog anonymous?

Well, a girl can't be too careful these days.

What are you afraid of?

Stupid people. The prejudices of people who can't have an honest discussion/debate without turning it into a personal vendetta. Or people who take petty insults (like the ones I like to throw around for fun) way too seriously. It's the blogosphere, get over it. Mainly just stupid people. They really scare me.

Where exactly do you live?

In the city. So I'm not a hypocrite. I can vote here, so I can bitch here. You move to a suburb, then you go bitch about you little township issues. You want a stake in the city of Cincinnati, then live in it.

Wait, you live in the city but you bitch about the suburbs too. Isn't THAT hypocritical?

Bite me. My blurg, my rant.

Why are you so mean/pissed off/angry/moody, etc.? Do you hate Cincinnati/this group/that restaurant?

Well, I'm not really. Most people who know me well will tell you I'm a pretty good-natured, happy person. I just find it cathartic to bitch about stuff I see and can't stand. I wanted some of my rants to get to bigger audience in order that they may do some good by either inspiring discussion, debate, or better yet, ACTION. I don't criticize in order to put down or demoralize any one or any thing, especially Cincinnati. I LOVE this town. I complain to affect change. Without criticism there is no improvement. Hang around long enough and you'll see some cheerleadering too, I promise.

Are you M/F? Married/single? Height/weight/age? Eye color/hair color?

Why does it matter? My demographics don't determine my opinion, my experiences do. Quit being hung up on me and worry about your own sh*t. Who says I'm one person anyway? Perhaps I'm part of a vast conspiracy to spread propaganda about how you're an idiot? Or maybe you're just an idiot.

Why are you so foul-mouthed?

I watch too many movies and was influenced by heavy metal as an adolescent. I grew up around working-class people drinking hard liquor and playing cards while chain smoking and bitching about the world going to hell - swearing just came with the territory. My mother never loved me. Take your pick...What the f**k do you care anyway? Don't like it, move on to the kiddie pool.

Why are there two versions of this site?

I'm took the opportunity of building a new website to try out the latest incarnations of Blogger and WordPress, and see which will meet my needs best. Blogger won, thus you'll see I've migrated most posts over. I'm also evaluating Picasa vs. Flickr, as well as Yahoo mail vs. Gmail. I'll let you know my evaluation on the latter items soon.

In some of your posts you refer to certain comments, but I don't see those comments you're referring to?

When I migrated the site from WordPress to Blogger, I lost my comments. Don't worry, there weren't that many. But you can change that! Comment now!

What happened to the blurg? Why was it dead from September 2007 to March 2008?

I've explained that in about as much detail as I was legally advised to do in my comeback post.

Did you randomly make up these questions because you were bored, or do people really ask you this stuff?

If you actually read all the way down to this point on the page, then you're real bored or I'm a great writer - and we both know the latter ain't the truth. Get a life.

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Told you so.

The comments over at Cincinnati Blog exploded just like I said they would about the Pheonix Cafe. A bunch of people claiming the move was racist, gentrification, etc. Not that I want to get drawn down into such a stupid argument, but it wouldn't be so bad if all those comments were over here. Or at least some of them.

Which brings me to another thought. I'm in debate with myself about "marketing" this site (not sure what that would entail) or just letting it spread by word of mouth (or word of web, as the case may be). Do I want this to be a personal pouring out of my thoughts, or do I want to spread the word as much as possible. I know that somewhere in between is my answer, but the question is, what does that mean for my "promotion?" Any thoughts?
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More Free Toilet Paper!

I can't believe it. The Beacon is in print now. How the hell did they get enough advertisers to buy into that steaming pile? Oh, wait: Rick Hines is footing the bill (and probably Jeffre too). Well, I guess that adds up...

Worthless + Pointless = Beacon in Print

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Pheonix Cafe Closes

Finally. I can't believe it took them this long to shut the place down. There's been people dealing drugs in front of that place for years (and within it, I've heard). It's just a bad scene.

I know that everyone's gonna blow up about gentrification and racist crap, but this place really was a sh*thole. Even the people who live in the neighborhood didn't want it.
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BSM: BullSh*tMeter

I realized that I needed some regular occurrence to give me the impetus to blurg at least once a week - during those heavy times, when a girl has that not-so-fresh feeling and could give a sh*t outside of her own world.

And I wanted some gimmick to make the site fun/funny, yet hit right at the heart of the matter - its reason for being: calling out the bullsh*t in the Nati. So I came up with the BullSh*tMeter. Well, maybe 'came up with' is not quite the term. I should say, 'completely ripped off' the idea from about a million other sites that do it - heck, even the graphic isn't original (but I did spend some time redoing it much more to my liking).

So at least once every couple of weeks - to be fair to myself, my schedule and my cat (she's so demanding) a couple of weeks may end up being more like once a month - I will post a new reading on the BullSh*tMeter. Some oh-so-lucky subject will feel the sting of my biting wit - or be annoyed, at least.

And if you're interested in seeing all the BSMs, just click on the tag bullsh*t or the BullSh*tMeter graphic in any BSM post to see all the past recipients.

And so it begins...
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Talkin' Fringe

I was talkin to a few friends about this year's Fringe the other day. We went to a ton of the shows, more than I was able to go to last year. In general it seemed much more together, more organized than last year. And the parties were great.

The quality of the shows was much better in general, but all in all there was nothing to write home about, except for Calculus: The Musical, which was spectacular. Everyone raved about iLove, which frankly bored me to tears. I think that everyone was just juiced up because two of the actors let their naughty bits hang out.

The one show that stands out in my mind as just awful was Extreme Puppet Theatre. Sad part is, I really think the performers behind it thought they were funny. It was downright painful to sit through.

What were your favorite and not-so-favorite Fringe moments?
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Tapas = Ripoff

So I was dragged to yet another Tapas bar, this time Latitudes Cafe in Anderson Towne Center. Like the word Bistro, I have come to know that the real meaning of the word Tapas is "very little food for lotsa money."

The decor was, well, midscale modern, but they didn't do much to hide the fact that they're in a plaza. Take out the bar and the booths and the room could have just as easily been a chic shoe boutique.

The food looked appealing on the menu - even though it seemed to be priced high, I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt - with what sounded like some really unique selections.

The $4 salad was so small it looked like it was the uneaten leftovers from someone else's plate, with barely enough greenery to cover the five-inch dish.

I thought I'd try the crabcakes, but they were pitifully small, dry and tasteless. I didn't even finish them, my friend did - but he covered them in some dipping sh*t that he had with one of his dishes. Did I mention the service was pitiful as well?

I also had the Lebanese chicken kabobs. When they arrived the "kabobs" were two dried up, shriveled pieces of chicken approximately a quarter inch in diameter and about four inches long. The sauce was a scarce puddle in the corner of the plate and the "chutney" what was supposed to come with it apparently consisted of a few sprinkles of diced cilantro under the pathetic chicken straws.

I shared a few other dishes with my friends, but nothing was filing or particularly tasty. My portion of the bill (with no alcoholic beverages) came to about $25 before tip and after pitching in on the other dishes I shared. I left feeling so hungry that I almost stopped at the chinese take out next door.

Never again. I try to avoid Anderson any way, as there's nary a locally-owned restaurant on that side of the Little Miami, so I figure by the time I get out that way again it'll be replaced with some national chain anyway, and for once (the gods forgive me) it may be a step up.
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About

This is my blurg. Not blog, blurg. Blogs are more like diaries or logs (well, technically they are weBlogs, but I digress). This is just one big rant. No touchy-feely crap here. Just lotsa bitchin.

I couldn't take it any more. I just had to speak up. Now I've opened the floodgates and I just can't stop...

No more stupid sh*t Cincy. You may still get away with it, but I want to make sure it does not go unnoticed.

Think of this as Cincinnati Blog, but WAY more crass. And with better spell-checking.

Yes this is yet another Cincy-centric blog, but with no real agenda other than calling out the bull shit. Understand that I love this city. But there's a lot that needs to change. From politics to urban planning to social attitudes to poor service at a local eatery, nothing is out of bounds.

Some of my commentary may be mundane, some profound, some funny, some nitpicky. I'll admit it now, most of it may end up being mundane - in the grand scheme of things - but I hope to at least steer you clear of some of my pitfalls or lead you to some hidden treasures. At times I may sound preachy, at times whinny, at times cheerleading, and at times mean - most of you will probably say mean. Don't take it personally - or hell, DO take it personally. I don't care. Just fix it.

I'm just calling 'em like I see 'em.
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Contact

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Wake up, Cincy.

This is your wake up call. Not like I'm trying to get you up to face the day, but calling you out to face the music. Now, it begins.
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