Tuesday, August 28, 2007

West Chester is unsafe!

OMG! Run for your lives suburbanites! The Northern Suburbs are unsafe!

It's a sad state of affairs that I actually laugh when I hear about crime in northern Hamilton County, or southern Butler/Warren County. But after hearing so many people put the city down as an unsafe war zone, it brings a smile to my face to see reports of crime in the burbs.

And when I see bank heists and shootouts in West Chester, I love to generalize that all the northern suburbs are dangerous, because, well, aren't they? I mean if the Whitey McWhitersons of Lebanon and Fairfield can say the city is unsafe when they hear about a shooting in Bond Hill, or that downtown is unsafe when they hear about a murder in Over the Rhine, can't I generalize about the Wild West atmosphere of the great northern plains where Loveland gangsters and the Masonite Mafia terrorize the fragile citizenry?!

In this post I'm using the names of the burbs interchangeably and city neighborhoods interchangeably because I've heard this story told with every possible combination. No matter which burb they're from the burbians usually think that all parts of the city are the same, in terms of crime/demographics. Half the time they don't even know their way around the city enough to know the geographical difference between neighborhoods. I've actually had people who were coming to visit me in Northside say, "Now you live downtown, is it safe for me to park there?" When I explain that I'm nowhere near downtown, they say, "Well, same thing."

I'm so sick of the people in Milford and Montgomery whining about the scary Canadians they see when they visit downtown for a ball game. And I'm not talking about panhandlers - I've heard them complain when they just SEE Canucks walking our streets. They run right back to their McMansion sanctuaries as soon as they can after the game any way, but they continue to perpetuate the unsafe city image just because they're racist sh*theads.

Never mind the bandits with knives shaking down the local general store in Lily White Land. When it happens there it's an anomaly, but when it happens here it's further evidence of the city's decline. I'm sorry, but suburban crime makes me smile.

11 Comments:

5chw4r7z said...

Hey you forgot the most important point! Where are all the children tortured, killed, abducted, backed over by cars, etc.?
The burbs, never hear about it happening in the city.

Anonymous said...

i live 1/2 block from ludlow ave. in clifton. i had a friend from florence come to visit me and she asked me to drive her back to her car because she was too scared to walk... her car was 1 block away and it was daytime.

Cyberbooner said...

No doubt, loved the post. Call it childish, call it immature, whatever... But I took a bit of satification this morning in acting overly relieved when my co-worked arrived safely to work this morning. With all the violence and police shooting in Blue Ash these days I was concerned about him. Needless to say, he likes to be "concerned" daily about my safety living in OTR and walking to work downtown, always giving me a hard time.

Radarman said...

And furthermore, the editorial pages ought to point out every time a suburbanite writes about city matters that the writer has chosen to live outside the city.
Wankers.

CincyBlurg said...

Hey gang, thanks for all the comments on this one! Keep 'em coming! This kind of response is part of the reason I started this blurg in the first place: it's so nice to know that I'm not alone.

Anonymous' friend, well, I feel like all of us urbanists know at least one of that person, if not several. And in my previous jobs in the suburbs I went through the exact same sh*t with my suburban co-workers. They always acted like I was just living in Clifton/Downtown/OTR/Northside because I was young and naive - and eventually I would 'grow up' and move to the burbs.

I remember a co-worker asking me on a trip into downtown from our Blue Ash offices, "I can't believe you live down here. There's so many, (whipered) BLACK people. Aren't you scared?" She actually whispered black people in the car with no one else in it but us.

I cracked up and asked her how she could live in Mason with all those "White people? No sidewalks and everyone driving one person to a car. That terrifies me!" She looked at me like I was insane and didn't speak to me for the rest of the trip except for business.

chris said...

I think your missing the actual fact that the city of Cincinnati actually does have more crime then the surrounding suburbs. You can look up data of all the crime rates of the city of Cincinnati as well as the surrounding suburbs.

I've lived in University Heights for a little over a year, coming from living in the suburb of colerain township. Compared to where I use to live, crime here in huge problem. In the past year one of my housemates car was broken into, someone was shot a block away, the bank next to my house was robbed(which lead to cops with shotguns standing in my yard for a couple of hours, not letting me leave my house), homeless people harassing me, black high schoolers having sex on my stoop, etc. We've even had two terrible run ins from Cincinnati cops. And thats only the past year! I never had to worry about any of this in my old neighborhood.

The typical suburbanite is right stating that the city of Cincinnati does have more of a crime problem then the suburbs. Maybe the do make a big deal out of it, I just understand why you and most of the people who commented this post just pass it off as suburbanite ignorance. Maybe you are the ignorant ones who turn at blind eye at their neighborhood.

ThatDeborahGirl said...

Unfortunately, there are black people who think like this as well.

My daughter went to a sleepover at a church member's house. They went to Graeters in Clifton and some of the other girls (from West Chester and beyond) stated that they were afraid because Clifton looked so "ghetto" and they were afraid there would be a drive-by or something.

My daughter was very angry and is asking me to drop out of this girls' group. I just may let her. She doesn't need to learn this kind of bigotry from people who should know better.

Cincinnati Now said...

It's no joke about those gangs in Loveland... I live there, and they opened a skate park, and all these gangsters dressed in black come here to skate.

They dress in black, have baggy pants, and drink a sodapop called Monster.

I lock my doors when I drive by.

Anonymous said...

I bought one of these and wore it around downtown over the weekend. Classic.
http://www.lookatmeshirts.com/index.php?productID=439&pos=7

Best $16 I've ever spent.

Anonymous said...

This person behind this blog obviously lives in Section 8 housing. Recent crime found in West Chester is most often traced back to HamCo criminals expanding their reach. If you live in HamCo, write about your problems and try to solve them before commenting on areas that you have no experience

Anonymous said...

Yep a lot of crime in the West Chester area now. And imagine the color of the skin of the parties in question.

Smart communities don't allow for apartments to be built in their area. West Chester didn't have the foresight of Cincinnati I guess. Question mark.

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