I'm baaaaack...

Sorry kiddies. Long time no see. Long story.

Simple version: the uptights at work found out about my blurg because of an AssHat co-worker, HR got involved, job was on the line, I dropped out of sight (and site) until things blew over or I could move to another company, I got a great new job (same industry), with a much better company, and now have a new boss that knows about the blog and doesn't care at all as long as I don't bring up anything related to work or my clients. A great new boss and a great new job. Sometimes things just work out the way they're supposed to, I guess.

Sorry again about my absence - but I had to keep the lights on, ya know? I've missed you all and have been keeping up with your blogs. I didn't comment under my own name because said AssHat was out to get me, and I couldn't take a chance that she was googling for my moniker to come up on other sites and thus expose me as not really being offline as promised. I did drop some anon comments for a while, but that got depressing, so much of this winter I've ignored the fray. But I'm back in it to win it, bitches.

So there it is, my first and last official post about work and the nastiness of the past six months. Oh yeah, one more thing - hey Cindy, go outside and play "Hide & Go F**k Yourself".
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AHA: Thank You Ann Coulter!

No, Ann Coulter is not the latest AssHatAward winner (her head's so far up her ass she can't even smell her own bullsh*t anymore) - but it's because of her that the recipients got noticed: the Xavier University College Republicans.

And thanks to the Xavier University College Republicans and Young America’s Foundation bringing Ass Coulter to speak at Xavier University on September 6th, the GLBT rights group Equality Ohio was able to raise over $25,000 so far to help support students at XU working for justice, diversity, fairness and compassion. I love it. Her ignorant, racist, fascist, conservative rhetoric is actually doing some good - it's mobilizing people against her movement, and inadvertently helping to support organizations she rails against in her speeches. Nice job!

Coulter's speaking fee is over $20,000 - that's about $5 per XU student. I can't believe any organization would give a nickel to that intentionally bulimic c*nt - even the XUCR. Many conservatives don't want anything to do with her because of her continuously vile hate speech. So if you're wondering what kind of AssHat would pay that slut to come to Cincinnati, well look no further than your local Nazi party members. Hey XU kids, if you see these wankers walking around XU, give 'em a punch in the balls from me.

If you'd like to give to Equality Ohio and have them send a thank you note to Ann on your behalf, you can do so for as little as $5! They've exceeded every goal they set yet, and they're working toward $30,000 now.

Fun side note: there are 31 entries in the Urban Dictionary for Ann Coulter. Boy, she really has a lot of fans! One of my favorites includes this entry:

"Ann Coulter is actually a former drag queen from Key West named Pudenda Shenanigans. Ms. Shenanigans was famous for her renditions of 'Dude Looks Like a Lady' 'I will Survive' and 'You Shook Me All Night Long' as well as an extensive Barbra Streisand repertoire. We who used to work with her are concerned for her as well as upset by the vile hatred she has spewed towards her former friends in the gay community. We feel that by bringing the truth to light perhaps Ann will come to grips with her past and change her wicked ways.

As Pudenda Shenanigans, she was well known on the drag circuit in Key West. Whether she actually had a full sex change or not is a matter of debate, although her adam’s apple is still visible in photos, under the appropriate light."

She does look like a post-op tranny, doesn't she? Not that that's a bad thing - unless afterwards you become a huge anti-GLBT pundit like she has. If only she really was post-op - then at least she can't breed and that'd keep her f**ked up DNA out of the gene pool.
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Republican Newsletter

In the Enquirer's online article about Gonzales' resignation, I noticed that six out of the seven politicians they quoted were Republican. Now we all know the Enquirer's editorial board are a bunch of conservative wankers, but guys, c'mon, try not to be so blatant about it. I mean, there's still like one or two people in the tri-state that still believe you're fair and balanced.

Also, most of the Republicans quoted praised Gonzales and denounced the Democrats for creating the situation that led to his resignation. Even though there are many Republicans that were happy to see him go, none of them were quoted.

The Enquirer could use the excuse that all those quoted were local officials, but they could have easily widened their coverage to get a more balanced look at the situation - it's not like they'd have had to do any more work: almost all senators and congressionals have press releases on their websites with official statements on major news like this.

(I was considering giving the Enquirer a BullSh*tMeter reading for this, but I decided most of you probably just see this as business as usual for the Enquirer.)
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West Chester is unsafe!

OMG! Run for your lives suburbanites! The Northern Suburbs are unsafe!

It's a sad state of affairs that I actually laugh when I hear about crime in northern Hamilton County, or southern Butler/Warren County. But after hearing so many people put the city down as an unsafe war zone, it brings a smile to my face to see reports of crime in the burbs.

And when I see bank heists and shootouts in West Chester, I love to generalize that all the northern suburbs are dangerous, because, well, aren't they? I mean if the Whitey McWhitersons of Lebanon and Fairfield can say the city is unsafe when they hear about a shooting in Bond Hill, or that downtown is unsafe when they hear about a murder in Over the Rhine, can't I generalize about the Wild West atmosphere of the great northern plains where Loveland gangsters and the Masonite Mafia terrorize the fragile citizenry?!

In this post I'm using the names of the burbs interchangeably and city neighborhoods interchangeably because I've heard this story told with every possible combination. No matter which burb they're from the burbians usually think that all parts of the city are the same, in terms of crime/demographics. Half the time they don't even know their way around the city enough to know the geographical difference between neighborhoods. I've actually had people who were coming to visit me in Northside say, "Now you live downtown, is it safe for me to park there?" When I explain that I'm nowhere near downtown, they say, "Well, same thing."

I'm so sick of the people in Milford and Montgomery whining about the scary Canadians they see when they visit downtown for a ball game. And I'm not talking about panhandlers - I've heard them complain when they just SEE Canucks walking our streets. They run right back to their McMansion sanctuaries as soon as they can after the game any way, but they continue to perpetuate the unsafe city image just because they're racist sh*theads.

Never mind the bandits with knives shaking down the local general store in Lily White Land. When it happens there it's an anomaly, but when it happens here it's further evidence of the city's decline. I'm sorry, but suburban crime makes me smile.
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AHA: Bob Buford

So, good ol' Bobby B, the Chicagoland troll that lurks around Cincinnati Blog's comments decided to chime in about my humble site, my lack of substance, and my fast-approaching demise. Well, I won't get into my response here in detail, as you can read it yourself, but I told him to go outside and play, "Hide and Go F**k Yourself!"

More importantly, let's look at Bob himself. I could sit here and call him a conservative idiot, a racist, a complete moron - oh, wait, I just did. But why take my word for it. Just look at his own words. They paint the picture far more eloquently than I could.

He's been lurking in the shadows of Brian's blog for a while now, even after he moved out of the city. He continues to comment on the state and affairs of Cincinnati, as if he has any idea what's going on here, or ever did. In one of his posts last year he mentions that he used to live right near the Oldenburg brewery before he was old enough to drink. So he's an uppity white kid who grew up in the suburbs of Northern Kentucky and thinks he has all the answers to the worlds problems - and they tend to sound like he's copying them from his KKK Youth Manual.

Well, Bob, I really don't need to say much more about you, as anyone willing to read through your own writing will find out everything they need to know. I'll leave you, my dear readers, with this little tidbit that I unfortunately can't take credit for myself, but I think will bring to you as much of a guffaw as it did me:
J.N. Atailya's May 11th response to Bob's comments...

Bob,

It's time you had the surgery to remove the pieces of spine that are hindering you from keeping your c**k in your mouth, where it belongs. I know you spent a good deal of your youth fighting to stay limber enough to self-fellate. But now, thanks to the wonders of modern surgery, you can once again fill your c**k holster with your very own pants meat -- meager as it is.

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