GFS: GoldF-ingStar

Ok, so call mE gimmicky, but I'm on a roll here - and having fun, so kiss my stink.

I've been both positive and negative on the blurg, but I've got two awards BSM & AHA that are negative, and I decided that no amount of cheerleading was going to balance out unless I created a positive award. So I came up with the GoldF-ingStar.

Now you're gonna have to take the name in stride and jest, it's just a crass term for a truly benevolent accolade. Remember when we were kids and we got a gold star on our papers from the teacher? That was THE sh*t! Thus I wanted to have something that would bestow the same sense of pride and honor, er maybe not honor, but pride anyway.

So here we have it, the GoldF-ingStar. Given to people who make significant contributions to the city, region, etc., be it service, activism, achievement, or the advancement of the local blogosphere. And other stuff I think up as I go along.

And YES, I know I need to come up with a better graphic. I was trying to do this at work and had to be kinda covert, so I didn't really put much time into it. I'll fix it soon.
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AHA: AssHatAward

So, I thought of another motivating item/task to help me keep the blurg regular: another award to give. Like the BullSh*tMeter, the AssHatAward will be given out every few weeks to a deserving local guy or lady. For the slower gazelles in the group, allow me to explain...

The Urban Dictionary defines asshat as:

"One who has their head up their ass. Thus wearing their ass as a hat."

That, I assure you, is the most simple and concise definition UD has to offer. For a great laugh, read the other 22 definitions.

So, on some sort of regular basis (hopefully) I will be awarding some "winner" with great honor. Stay tuned!
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Frequently Axed Questions

Who the hell do you think you are anyway?

Just someone who took the time to put their thoughts on the InterWeb. Don't like 'em? Don't read 'em. You got something to say, then comment. Or create your own blurg. Or shut up and do nothing like the good little sheep you probably are anyway.

Why is this blog anonymous?

Well, a girl can't be too careful these days.

What are you afraid of?

Stupid people. The prejudices of people who can't have an honest discussion/debate without turning it into a personal vendetta. Or people who take petty insults (like the ones I like to throw around for fun) way too seriously. It's the blogosphere, get over it. Mainly just stupid people. They really scare me.

Where exactly do you live?

In the city. So I'm not a hypocrite. I can vote here, so I can bitch here. You move to a suburb, then you go bitch about you little township issues. You want a stake in the city of Cincinnati, then live in it.

Wait, you live in the city but you bitch about the suburbs too. Isn't THAT hypocritical?

Bite me. My blurg, my rant.

Why are you so mean/pissed off/angry/moody, etc.? Do you hate Cincinnati/this group/that restaurant?

Well, I'm not really. Most people who know me well will tell you I'm a pretty good-natured, happy person. I just find it cathartic to bitch about stuff I see and can't stand. I wanted some of my rants to get to bigger audience in order that they may do some good by either inspiring discussion, debate, or better yet, ACTION. I don't criticize in order to put down or demoralize any one or any thing, especially Cincinnati. I LOVE this town. I complain to affect change. Without criticism there is no improvement. Hang around long enough and you'll see some cheerleadering too, I promise.

Are you M/F? Married/single? Height/weight/age? Eye color/hair color?

Why does it matter? My demographics don't determine my opinion, my experiences do. Quit being hung up on me and worry about your own sh*t. Who says I'm one person anyway? Perhaps I'm part of a vast conspiracy to spread propaganda about how you're an idiot? Or maybe you're just an idiot.

Why are you so foul-mouthed?

I watch too many movies and was influenced by heavy metal as an adolescent. I grew up around working-class people drinking hard liquor and playing cards while chain smoking and bitching about the world going to hell - swearing just came with the territory. My mother never loved me. Take your pick...What the f**k do you care anyway? Don't like it, move on to the kiddie pool.

Why are there two versions of this site?

I'm took the opportunity of building a new website to try out the latest incarnations of Blogger and WordPress, and see which will meet my needs best. Blogger won, thus you'll see I've migrated most posts over. I'm also evaluating Picasa vs. Flickr, as well as Yahoo mail vs. Gmail. I'll let you know my evaluation on the latter items soon.

In some of your posts you refer to certain comments, but I don't see those comments you're referring to?

When I migrated the site from WordPress to Blogger, I lost my comments. Don't worry, there weren't that many. But you can change that! Comment now!

What happened to the blurg? Why was it dead from September 2007 to March 2008?

I've explained that in about as much detail as I was legally advised to do in my comeback post.

Did you randomly make up these questions because you were bored, or do people really ask you this stuff?

If you actually read all the way down to this point on the page, then you're real bored or I'm a great writer - and we both know the latter ain't the truth. Get a life.

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BSM: BullSh*tMeter

I realized that I needed some regular occurrence to give me the impetus to blurg at least once a week - during those heavy times, when a girl has that not-so-fresh feeling and could give a sh*t outside of her own world.

And I wanted some gimmick to make the site fun/funny, yet hit right at the heart of the matter - its reason for being: calling out the bullsh*t in the Nati. So I came up with the BullSh*tMeter. Well, maybe 'came up with' is not quite the term. I should say, 'completely ripped off' the idea from about a million other sites that do it - heck, even the graphic isn't original (but I did spend some time redoing it much more to my liking).

So at least once every couple of weeks - to be fair to myself, my schedule and my cat (she's so demanding) a couple of weeks may end up being more like once a month - I will post a new reading on the BullSh*tMeter. Some oh-so-lucky subject will feel the sting of my biting wit - or be annoyed, at least.

And if you're interested in seeing all the BSMs, just click on the tag bullsh*t or the BullSh*tMeter graphic in any BSM post to see all the past recipients.

And so it begins...
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About

This is my blurg. Not blog, blurg. Blogs are more like diaries or logs (well, technically they are weBlogs, but I digress). This is just one big rant. No touchy-feely crap here. Just lotsa bitchin.

I couldn't take it any more. I just had to speak up. Now I've opened the floodgates and I just can't stop...

No more stupid sh*t Cincy. You may still get away with it, but I want to make sure it does not go unnoticed.

Think of this as Cincinnati Blog, but WAY more crass. And with better spell-checking.

Yes this is yet another Cincy-centric blog, but with no real agenda other than calling out the bull shit. Understand that I love this city. But there's a lot that needs to change. From politics to urban planning to social attitudes to poor service at a local eatery, nothing is out of bounds.

Some of my commentary may be mundane, some profound, some funny, some nitpicky. I'll admit it now, most of it may end up being mundane - in the grand scheme of things - but I hope to at least steer you clear of some of my pitfalls or lead you to some hidden treasures. At times I may sound preachy, at times whinny, at times cheerleading, and at times mean - most of you will probably say mean. Don't take it personally - or hell, DO take it personally. I don't care. Just fix it.

I'm just calling 'em like I see 'em.
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Wake up, Cincy.

This is your wake up call. Not like I'm trying to get you up to face the day, but calling you out to face the music. Now, it begins.
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